The "Perfect" Homeschooler
Perfect homeschool mom is up with the sunrise, takes her shower and dresses herself in lovely clothing that is not covered with the stains of motherhood, does her hair and make-up and happily dances off to the kitchen to make a wonderful, nutritious and 100% organic breakfast from scratch.
The children arrive at the breakfast table fully dressed in matching clothes without stains or tears and cheerfully join their siblings and parents at the table. Over breakfast, the family discusses current events with zest and great knowledge. There are no tantrums, whining or sibling issues for the perfect homeschool family.
After breakfast the perfect homeschooled children joyfully complete all of their chores without any reminding or prompting from their perfect homeschooling parents. They love learning and eagerly sit with their perfect homeschooling mother reading and discussing great literature, comparing the art techniques of the great masters’ art and performing advanced chemistry experiments.
The perfect homeschooling family balances home life with out-of-the-home opportunities with great ease. The perfect homeschooled children have plenty of time to devote to their own interests as well as their academic endeavors. Despite all of activity going on within the home, the perfect homeschooling family maintains a pristine home free from clutter.
When Dad arrives home from work at precisely 5:30 p.m., the perfect homeschooling mother serves her family another magnificent, 100% organic meal made from scratch. There are no need for reminders to “use your indoor voice” or “chew with your mouth closed” or “no belching at the table” because the perfect homeschooling family also has perfect manners. The perfect homeschooling family enjoys the rest of their evening by reading classic literature as a family while mother knits each family member socks, hats, mittens and sweaters.
The Realistic Homeschooler
Mom wakes with the children and breakfast consists of cereal and juice although occasionally eggs and toast will be served instead. Dad left for work hours ago and the only conversation happening at the table is the bickering between siblings. The dog barks, demanding breakfast, because the child whose chore it is to feed her forgot to do so this morning (like every other morning).
The children may or may not get dressed; it depends on what’s on the agenda for the day. Whether or not Mom has time (or energy) for a shower is completely dependent on how many arguments she has to quell that morning. The dishes make it to the sink but may not get taken care of until before dinner. The house is clean but by no means is it immaculate.
The realistic homeschooling family is too busy with outside activities, art projects and science experiments to spend all day cleaning the house. When it’s time to sit and get any kind of learning done, Mom pleads with one child while trying to help another and nurse the baby at the same time. Dad comes home and dinner is spent reminding the kids to use their table manners and diffusing yet another sibling squabble.
Everyone Has Ideals
Whether it be a new or seasoned homeschooler, all parents who take on homeschooling have an idealistic image of how homeschooling should be. Some may hear other homeschoolers discuss their own idealistic families and the human competitive nature within forces them to want to be more like that family. Some may meet families who seem to have it all together, causing one to wonder what one is doing wrong. Parents may doubt themselves, their abilities and even worse, their children. Questions arise within regarding the ability, or lack thereof, to find balance, keep a clean house, sibling bickering, why the children struggle with a particular subject, time management, etc.
The Middle Ground
All homeschooling parents go through stages of guilt, doubt and insecurity. The key is in realizing that the “perfect homeschooler” doesn’t exist. Like any parent, a homeschooling parent is going to have good days and bad days. Homeschooling parents often expect the good days and find themselves flustered on a bad day. It wasn't expected; they didn’t sign up for bad days. It wasn’t in the brochure!
The truth is that living and learning 24/7 causes life to get in the way and shake things up, causing unexpected results. The birth of a baby, the dog runs away, illness, temper tantrums, home remodeling projects, the holidays, a warm spring-like day in the middle of a cold New England winter and fabulous learning opportunities that pull you away from home more often than is liked.
Each homeschooling family does so for different reasons however, no one is doing this because they are perfect. Once the myth of the perfect homeschooler is erased from memory, freedom to relax and enjoy learning and growing with the children takes its place.
Leigh Vozzella - Homeschooling mom of four children; Board member of the Massachusetts Home Learning Association (www.mhla.org); former Publicity ...
